I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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