She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
