I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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