This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
