worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
