so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
