you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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