I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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