Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i've created a new STD.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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