she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
