i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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