im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
