i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
