do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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