I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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