Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
