perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
