3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
