I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
