the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
