You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
