Are we in a gay sports bar?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
