wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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