Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
