I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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