and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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