I heard we made out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
