so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
