I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
