So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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