They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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