GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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