hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
