I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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