Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
