remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
