He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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