so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
