There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
