Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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