Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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