porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
