why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
