I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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