Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
