pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
