She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
