U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
