No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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