im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Someone came in the potted fern
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
