her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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