it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
